3 Reasons The Only Permission You Need Is Your Own

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A lot of times, people (myself once included), look outside themselves for others to give them permission to: do/say what they want, pursue their dreams, create a life that matters to them, and on the list goes.

Thing is, you’ve got to be the one to give yourself permission if you ever want to be whole. Here’s why:

1. To befriend yourself

I’ve said this before but it bears repeating: you are the closest and best friend you’ll ever have.

When you refuse to befriend yourself, you don’t:

  • defend your own decisions
  • listen to your own intuition
  • make choices that are in your best interests
  • treat yourself with compassion
  • and the negative list goes on.

When you look to others to guide you by asking for their permission/approval to do what you want to do with your life, you turn your back on yourself and give the power over your life to someone else. You don’t want to do that. Trust me on this: powerless is never a position you want to choose for yourself.

So choose to befriend yourself and have your own back always.

2. To trust yourself

You’ll never come to trust yourself if you don’t befriend yourself first (see number 1). And when you don’t trust yourself, you get stuck, waiting for others to validate and/or give you the go-ahead to live the life that you want.

You’ve lived with yourself all these years. You know yourself better than anyone else. You know what you want. You know what you need to do to get it. Yes, you do.

When you look outside yourself for permission, you chip away at your self-trust because you consciously (& subconsciously too) believe that someone else knows your wants and needs better than you do. And since you always (always, always) live out what you believe that leads to you:

  • ignoring your own intuition
  • waiting for others to tell you who you are and/or what you want
  • doubting yourself
  • being frustrated, angry, resentful, feeling stuck, and the like
  • and the negative list goes on.

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: Self-trust is the first secret of success. That’s true. You won’t find yourself succeeding in what you most want to have/be/do/say if you don’t trust yourself to know what those things are and also to act on them.

So choose to trust yourself so you can realize the success that you want.

3. To be the authority in your own life

If you don’t trust yourself and so ask others for permission, you let someone else dictate your decisions. That person (or people) then becomes the authority over your life in that particular area. Do that enough times in different areas of your life and you’ll come to feel like you have no power at all to decide the direction of your own life.

That’s how people (and you may be one of them) wind up weeks/years/decades down the road, feeling lost, wondering what happened to their life and how they got to be where they are, stuck on how to fix what’s wrong, and confused about how to get themselves where they want to be.

The truth is this: you already are the authority in your own life.

But when you refuse to treat yourself as the authority in your own life, that leads to you:

  • allowing all kinds of bad behaviors from both others and from yourself
  • not defending your own boundaries
  • feeling small, insignificant, and like you/your wants/your needs are irrelevant
  • treating yourself as if you are powerless and you don’t matter
  • and the negative list goes on.

When you refuse to be the authority in your own life, that’s a self-betrayal. And if you think being betrayed by someone else is painful and debilitating, it pales in comparison to being betrayed by yourself. Why? Because, since you’re with you wherever you go, you can never get away from that hurt.

So choose to be the authority in your own life so you can thrive and become the person you want and are meant to be.

 

So will you give yourself permission to have/be/do/say what you want?

 

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