Compassion is what you feel when you see someone hurting and your heart breaks for them and you want to help. Self-compassion is turning that same feeling on yourself. Self-compassion is what you most need to heal yourself.Ā
Nobody can grow while theyāre being mowed down
You may have turned on yourself and berated yourself, beat yourself up, called yourself names, and the like. Others may have said demeaning things to you or done soul-crushing things things to you and, instead of looking at those things as a character flaw in them, you internalized their voices and actions. Maybe all that negative stuff plays in a loop inside your head.
Just know this: what you think about becomes what you believe (because beliefs are just thoughts youāve had over and over again). And you always (always, always) live out what you believe because your beliefs are what drive your all your actions.
You cannot ever grow if youāre cutting yourself down. Thatās why you need to practice self-compassion.
Self-compassion by being kind to yourself
The best way to be kind to yourself is to practice self-care.
Self-care is something you do voluntarily that nurtures you in some way. Self-care is not something you force on yourself or do because somebody else wants you to.
The best way you can be kind to yourself is to find things that make you feel nourished and supported and go do them for yourself. Thatās especially true if youāre going through a hard time.
Thereās no one-size-fits-everybody when it comes to self-care. Whatever it looks like to youāmaybe a long walk or a bubble bath or 10 minutes to yourselfā youāre worth taking the time to care for yourself and be kind to yourself.
Self-compassion by being gentle with yourself
The easiest way to be gentle with yourself is to speak strength to yourself and tell yourself words you need to hear.
Itās not othersā voices that matter most for your well-being; itās your own voice and what youāre staying to and about yourself. You know what youāre going through at any given moment so what words would most help you right then?
- Channel the kindest person you know when you speak those words to yourself.
- Use a gentle voice when you do it.
- Use terms of endearment like honey, sweet pea, darlin.
- Whatever words will make you feel comforted, thatās what you need to say to yourself.
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Self-compassion by being patient with yourself
Youāre going to make mistakes no matter what you do. Youāre human so itās okay.
So be patient with:
- yourself as youāre learning
- any process youāre going through
- patient with the journey youāre on.
Look, I realize that patience is the strong suit of almost no one, but patience really will serve you well in your life.
It really is a practice and youāll get better at it the more you do it. Youāve got your whole life to make it to where you want to be so you donāt have to be in a rush to get there.
And I assure you, youāll have a much more relaxing journey if youāll just cultivate some patience with yourself along the way.
Get off the diet-go-round. Get on with your life.Ā®
Stop wishing, start doing.
Create your own weight loss before and after success story.
My weight loss transformation & how it can help you practice self-compassion
You absolutely can break the diet cycle. I got free. Your life can be that way too.
I made my own path because I needed to get myself out of the crazy-making behavior I was having around food. I needed:
- no more dieting.
- no more restrictive eating.
- no weighing and measuring food.
- no off-limit foods.
- no more judgment around food.
- no more trying to figure out healthy eating or just what healthy foods to eat.
- no more judging my self-worth based on the scale.
- no more youāre-not-doing-it-perfectly diet rules that were only fueling my constant thinking about and obsession with food.
I needed to stop: searching for weight loss tips, wondering how to lose belly fat fast or how to lose weight fast, worrying about how to eat healthy or finding healthy snacks for weight loss, coming up with yet another healthy eating plan, trying to have quick weight loss, or forcing myself onto yet another weight loss diet. What I needed instead was to find, out of all the weight loss programs out there, the best weight loss program for me. Turns out, the best way to lose weight was to find out what works for me and do that.
- I’ve lost 160+ pounds naturally by simply trusting myself and listening to my intuition (mindful eating and eating intuitively).
- I have maintained that weight loss for 9 years and counting by trusting myself and listening to my intuition (mindful eating and intuitive eating).
- I no longer have any eating disorders, including bulimia (bulimia nervosa) and binge eating disorder (compulsive overeating).
- I no longer have a fear of food.
Just imagine what you could be doing with your life if you’d just commit to having your own before and after weight loss success story. You could be:Ā following your own dreams and reaching your own goals, cultivating your own passions, and making both your inner and outer worlds a more blissful and peaceful place.
I got that for my life. I want it for yours. I will teach you how.
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Let today be the day you make peace with your body and with food.
For more information, check out the Start Where You Are Weight LossĀ® page.