“Comparison is an act of violence against yourself.” ~Iyanla Vanzant
Well, here’s me writing another post I need to hear. It goes hand-in-hand with a post I did on why I stopped looking at the numbers.
Show of hands: How many people have ever compared themselves to someone else and come up lacking? If you answered yes:
How’d that make you feel?
- Bottom line: it probably didn’t make you feel good.
Here’s how it made me feel:
- I’m not enough as I am.
- I should just give up.
- Life is a competition instead of a collaboration.
- Life is less about the journey & more about the end result.
- It fueled perfectionism (& that’s a whole other blog post).
- It paralyzed me & stopped me from moving forward.
Here’s the truth: there’s most likely, at some point in your life, going to be someone prettier, richer, smarter, more successful, more popular, and/or someone with better stats that you. And even if you’re the very best there is in the world at what you do, at some point, someone will knock you out of the #1 spot.
The trick is how to be content where you are with exactly what you have. So how do you do that? Gratitude helps. So does recognizing all the things you have to offer. And keeping busy, working toward your own goals, does too.
Here’s a simple suggestion that helped me:
- Write a daily gratitude list.
- Write a daily list of things you do well.
- Keep it handy when you start comparing.
And here’s another (courtesy of my first grade teacher):
Keep your eyes on your own paper.
What that means to me:
- Do your own work & be your own self.
- Keep the focus on what you need to do to move forward in your own life.
- DO at least one thing every day that moves you toward the life you want.
- Believe that you will achieve your goal.
There’s enough violence in the world; don’t add to it by inflicting it on yourself.
So have you caught yourself comparing your life with someone else’s? If so, what did you do to stop yourself? Please feel free to share your thoughts & experiences in the comment box below.